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The Reality Of  A Relationship

Most people have a fantasy about relationships. It goes something like this: 

One day they will meet their ideal partner,  this person will understand them completely and will easily connect with them. 
There will be no arguments, Everything will be perfect 
Magic will happen and will continue forever.
 

The reality of relationships is quite different. 
An intimate relationship is one of the most powerful opportunities for personal growth, which often brings pain, but it also brings incredible joy.
 Relationships are akin to life, sometimes sublime and sometimes challenging, as with life, the amount of satisfaction you derive depends on how much you are willing to move outside of your comfort zone. 
Sometimes  a relationship enters a period of struggle, resulting in the couple having disagreements, and one or both partners blame the difficulties on the other,  this period can last for quite some time. 
What's happening here is an attempt  to  establish the rules of conduct for the relationship, as each partner may have grown up in a different family culture, with different  rules of conduct, and because  these rules are subconscious, neither is aware they are enforcing their own standards, A woman may have been raised in a family where feelings were not expressed and communicating her feelings was quite difficult to do, but her partner was raised in a family with excessive emotional closeness and sharing, so SHE may not expect any emotional expression and sharing in the relationship, but her partner DOES!. 
The  task during this period is to create a shared set of rules that are independent of their respective family ones, each one must look inside and discover what they want from this relationship, which requires a strong commitment to the relationship and detachment from family patterns. 
Without realizing it, most people are deeply loyal to their family patterns and beliefs, therefore each partner will believe that his approach is the correct one. so when the other partner does not comply, he will be made to feel bad and attempts will be made to force compliance. 
This period in the relationship  can be  painful, and this is the point where most relationships end. 
 Both must be willing to rework their rules of conduct and meet in the middle. If one partner becomes unwilling to meet half way, the relationship is functionally over, as a loving partnership cannot exist when one partner exerts his will over the other, resulting in  the relationship ending with  both people deeply wounded. 
Relationships are not the way they are portrayed in fairy tales, for the beauty of relationships is that they are an opportunity for each partner to transform, and  will be painful at times because it will require each partner to go beyond what they know about relationships. 
But if you are unwilling to look within yourself and move from your comfort zone, then I'm afraid you  will  never have a loving relationship with anyone! 







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