Reality Of A Relationship
Most people have a fantasy about relationships. It goes something like this:
One day they will meet their ideal partner, this person will understand them completely and will easily connect with them.
There will be no arguments, Everything will be perfect
Magic will happen and will continue forever.
The reality of relationships is quite different.
An intimate relationship is one of the most powerful opportunities for personal
growth, which often brings pain, but it also brings incredible joy.
Relationships are akin to life, sometimes sublime and sometimes
challenging, as with life, the amount of satisfaction you derive depends on how much you are willing to move outside of your comfort zone.
Sometimes a relationship enters a period of struggle,
resulting in the couple having disagreements, and one or both partners blame the difficulties on the
other, this period can last for quite some time.
What's happening here is an attempt to establish the rules of conduct for the
relationship, as each partner may have grown up in a different family culture,
with different rules of conduct, and because these rules are subconscious, neither is aware they are enforcing their own
standards, A woman may have been raised in a family where feelings were not expressed and communicating her feelings was
quite difficult to do, but her partner was raised in a family with excessive emotional closeness and
sharing, so SHE may not expect any emotional expression and sharing in the relationship,
but her partner DOES!.
The task during this period is to create a shared set of rules that are independent of their respective family
ones, each one must look inside and discover what they want from this
relationship, which requires a strong commitment to the relationship and detachment from family patterns.
Without realizing it, most people are deeply loyal to their family patterns and
beliefs, therefore each partner will believe that his approach is the correct one.
so when the other partner does not comply, he will be made to feel
bad and attempts will be made to force compliance.
This period in the relationship can be painful, and this is the point where most relationships end.
Both must be willing to rework their rules of conduct and meet in the middle. If one partner becomes unwilling to
meet half way, the relationship is functionally over, as a loving partnership cannot exist when one partner exerts his will over the
other, resulting in the relationship ending with both people deeply wounded.
Relationships are not the way they are portrayed in fairy tales, for
the beauty of relationships is that they are an opportunity for each partner to
transform, and will be painful at times because it will require each partner to go beyond what they know about
But if you are unwilling to look within yourself and move from your comfort zone, then
I'm afraid you will never have a loving relationship